Navigating a relationship with Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3 is often described as walking through a minefield of sarcasm and trauma. Unlike companions who reward you for being a traditional hero, Astarion operates on a completely different moral frequency. To master his approval system, you have to stop thinking like a savior and start thinking like a survivor. This guide breaks down the essential choices and psychological nuances needed to secure his loyalty and affection.

Understanding the Astarion Approval Logic

Astarion’s approval isn't just about being "evil." While he often approves of cruelty, his worldview is shaped by two centuries of enslavement under Cazador Szarr. To him, kindness is a luxury the weak cannot afford, and selflessness is often a mask for manipulation.

If you want to gain his favor, keep these three pillars in mind:

  1. Autonomy Above All: He hates being told what to do and loves it when you support his right to choose for himself.
  2. Power is Safety: He approves of gaining legendary items, tadpole powers, and any tactical advantage that makes the party harder to kill.
  3. Chaos and Snark: He finds humor in the absurd and enjoys mocking people who take themselves too seriously. If a dialogue option lets you roll your eyes at a self-important NPC, take it.

Essential Act 1 Approval Milestones

Act 1 is where you lay the foundation. It is also where most "Good" aligned players struggle. You don't have to murder everyone in the Emerald Grove to make him happy, but you do need to be strategic.

The Bite Night (+10 Approval)

One of the single biggest boosts in the game occurs early on. During a long rest, Astarion will attempt to drink your blood.

  • The Move: Let him do it. When he asks for a taste, agree.
  • The Follow-up: The next morning, when the party discusses it, defend him. Tell the group you trust him.
  • Why it works: This is the first time in 200 years someone has given him something without demanding a price of suffering. It builds foundational trust.

Gandrel the Monster Hunter (+10 Approval)

In the Sunlit Wetlands (near Auntie Ethel’s tea house), you will find a Gur named Gandrel looking for a vampire spawn.

  • The Move: If you know Astarion is a vampire, let him take the lead in the conversation. Eventually, allow him to kill Gandrel.
  • The Refined Approach: You can also gain approval by tricking Gandrel or simply being rude to him, but killing him is the fastest way to Astarion's heart in Act 1.

The Necromancy of Thay (+5 Approval)

In the Blighted Village, there is a cursed book hidden in a secret basement.

  • The Move: Retrieve the book and the dark amethyst. When the dialogue triggers, give the book to Astarion.
  • Why it works: He sees the book as a potential source of power against his former master. Destroying it or giving it to Gale will result in disapproval.

Navigating the Emerald Grove and Goblin Camp

This is the part where Heroic players often see the "Astarion Disapproves" notification pop up constantly. Here is how to handle it.

Dealing with the Refugees

Astarion generally finds the Tiefling refugees a nuisance. He will disapprove if you agree to help Zevlor for free. To mitigate this:

  • Ask for Reward: Always ask for payment. He respects mercenaries; he doesn't respect martyrs.
  • The "Wait at Camp" Trick: If you are determined to do a purely altruistic deed, like saving Arabella from the snake, consider unlinking Astarion and leaving him at the other side of the map or sending him back to camp before you engage in the dialogue. Approval/Disapproval only triggers for active party members within earshot.

The Goblin Camp Activities

  • Abdirak (The Loviatar Priest): Let Abdirak perform his ritual on you. If you endure the pain without crying out (or by showing strength), Astarion loves the show (+5).
  • Siding with Minthara: If you are playing an evil run, raiding the Grove is a massive approval gain. However, if you are playing a good run, you can make up for the loss by being particularly cunning during the goblin leader assassinations.

Act 2: The Critical Turning Points

Act 2 is where Astarion’s romance often solidifies or falls apart. It moves away from petty snark and into deep emotional territory.

The Deal with Raphael and Yurgir

Raphael offers to translate the scars on Astarion’s back in exchange for killing a powerful Orthon named Yurgir in the Gauntlet of Shar.

  • The Move: Agree to help Astarion with this deal.
  • The Nuance: If you manage to talk Yurgir into killing himself, Astarion is impressed by your cunning. If you simply fight him, he is satisfied with the result. The key is ensuring the deal with Raphael is completed.

Araj Oblodra: The Ultimate Respect Test

In Moonrise Towers, you will meet a drow alchemist named Araj Oblodra who is obsessed with vampire blood. She will offer a powerful permanent strength potion if Astarion bites her.

  • The Critical Choice: Astarion will express deep discomfort. He does not want to do it.
  • The Approval Move: Defend his right to refuse. Tell her "No" firmly.
  • Why this is the most important moment: For Astarion, this is the moment he realizes you see him as a person, not a tool. This often triggers his "Confession" scene during the next long rest, which is essential for his romance progression. Biting her for the potion will give you a stat boost but will severely damage your relationship with him.

Act 3: The Ritual and the Palace

By the time you reach Baldur’s Gate, your approval should be high, but the final quest involving Cazador will determine Astarion's ultimate fate.

The Cazador Fight

When you finally face his master in the palace, the climax occurs after the battle. Astarion will have the chance to complete the Rite of Profane Ascension.

  1. Allowing Ascension: If you help him complete the ritual, he becomes an Ascended Vampire. He gains massive power (1d10 necrotic damage on weapon attacks) and becomes significantly more arrogant and controlling. He will approve of this, but the "sweetness" of his romance will be replaced by a power-dynamic shift.
  2. Persuading Him to Stop: This requires a high Persuasion check. You must argue that this ritual will consume his soul and turn him into exactly what he hated. If successful, he stays a vampire spawn. He will initially be emotional, but in the long run, he thanks you for saving him from himself.

Choice-by-Choice Breakdown (Patch 7 Updated)

Location Action Approval Change
Roadside Cliffs Tell Lae'zel to say "Please" to the Tieflings +1
Emerald Grove Tell the Tiefling kids they are going to die +1
Emerald Grove Kick the squirrel (Timber) +1
Emerald Grove Tell Auntie Ethel about the tadpole +1
Blighted Village Intimidate the Magic Mirror +1
Goblin Camp Tell the goblins you are a Messenger of the Absolute +1
Camp Tell him you trust him after the Bite +5
Last Light Inn Tell Isobel you don't believe in the protection +1
Moonrise Towers Refuse to make him bite Araj Oblodra +10 (Massive Trust)
Rivington Give the beggar a coin (but mock them) +1

How to Gain Approval as a "Good" Character

You can reach 100 approval (Exceptional) while playing a Hero of the Coast. The secret is Dialogue Framing.

  • Don't be a pushover. Astarion hates characters who are "do-gooders" because they are told to be. If you help someone, frame it as a strategic move. "We're helping them because we need their information," rather than "We're helping because it's the right thing to do."
  • Value his expertise. When you come across a lock or a trap, let him do it. Take him with you when you’re doing stealth missions.
  • Support his revenge. You don't have to agree with his desire to hurt innocents, but you should always agree that Cazador deserves to suffer. This is his primary motivation for 90% of the game.
  • Be Snarky, Not Cruel. You can gain a lot of "+1" hits by simply picking the funny or sarcastic dialogue options that don't actually hurt anyone. Astarion loves a good roast.

The Impact of Approval on Romance

Approval is the gatekeeper for Astarion’s romance scenes.

  • Act 1: You typically need at least "Fair" or "Good" approval to trigger the scene at the Tiefling/Goblin party. If your approval is high enough (usually 40+), he might even approach you before the party.
  • Act 2: The romance will stall unless you deal with his scars (Raphael's quest) and defend him against Araj Oblodra.
  • Act 3: High approval and the completion of the Cazador quest are required to see his final romance conclusion.

Common Approval Traps to Avoid

  1. The "Selfless Savior" Trap: Jumping into every fight to save every NPC without asking for a reward will slowly tank his approval. If you must save them, talk to Astarion afterward and acknowledge it was a hassle.
  2. The "Honest to a Fault" Trap: Astarion appreciates a good lie. If an NPC is annoying, lying to them or tricking them often earns his approval where being honest would earn a shrug or disapproval.
  3. Mocking Him: While he loves mocking others, he is incredibly sensitive. Mocking his vampirism or his past will lead to sharp disapproval hits.

Final Thoughts on Relationship Management

Astarion is one of the most reactive companions in the game. His approval system is a reflection of his trauma—he respects strength and autonomy because he lacked them for so long. By standing by his side during the Araj Oblodra encounter and the Yurgir fight, you prove that you are an ally rather than a master. Whether you choose to lead him toward a path of redemption as a spawn or a path of dark glory as an Ascended Vampire, understanding these approval triggers is the key to his complex narrative arc. Keep your blades sharp and your wit sharper, and you'll find him to be one of the most loyal (and entertaining) companions in Faerûn.